What we have learned: 12/13/2009

In 23 years we’ve learned

That loving each other means more than being in love

And that goodnight kisses can mean more than passionate ones-

Although they are important, too.

That “for better or for worse” really means things can get tough

And if you really, really mean it that you will be better for it in the end.

And that the better times make it all the bad times seem less hard- and worth it.

That “In sickness and in health” means more than the flu- but you still have to hold her head when she gets the flu anyway. And that you are supposed to help keep your spouse healthy if you can.

In 23 years we’ve learned who the friends really are- and what it means to be a friend.

We’ve learned that friends often make the best family, but how important family is as well.

Now we are learning how to say goodbye.

Not by choice.

And we are learning how much all the other stuff really mattered- and how much of it really didn’t.

We’re learning how much more holding hands can mean, and what hands to reach out to.

We’re seeing that our legacy is not what we’ve earned, or made, or seen- it’s who we are, and who our kids will become.

We’re seeing that a faith we often took for granted has been there all along. Sometimes we forgot to acknowledge it.

And we’re learning to make every moment count that we can, and to accept the changes that are occurring.

We’re learning to talk more, not less. To cry together, not alone. To be glad for what we have had, not mad about what we will not. To find grace in the time available, living the vows we worked so hard to make our own.

If we have 24 years, we will learn more. But if we have only 23, we will have made our mark on each other’s hearts, and our life together will have had meaning, and a lifetime’s worth of love.