Transitions: June 11,2011

North Carolina feels so much like Florida. The humidity is actually an old friend, that wraps itself around me. It slows life down of necessity, and makes me notice the geenery and blue skies more.The scenery is similar, the brick makes me think of our old house, the azaleas and crepe myrtles and water all feel like home. It also makes me miss Linda, knowing how much she would love North Carolina. I'm sure she is here with us. We've felt her presence the last two weeks...

• The night we cut the cake in our backyard at the rehearsal dinner "I Hope You Dance" suddenly came on
• Things moved in our room all week
• We felt her with us, her hands on ours, heard her breathing pattern all last Sunday
• This week one cardinal has swooped over our car three times. The cardinal was our bird in Florida, and I had one put on our headstone.
• Her favorite songs come on whenever we are together in the car.

Casper was Linda's choice for me. I was blessed to have been loved to to the moon and back by Linda, and to be held and loved once again by Casper with the very sure knowledge that Linda begged me to make sure Casper was in my life. She knew I was never made for being alone, and that I needed a chance to be taken care of. She knew I was tired, even more than I did. Every time Casper opens a door for me or worries about my being gone I know Linda is smiling. Sometimes I can hear her saying "See Jillie- I told you I was right." Linda knew her family was not going to be happy with changes in my life after her passing. I'm fortunate to still have some who love me and the kids. And this week I have been welcomed into a new family, who have accepted me and love our kids too. Casper was worried about the wedding going well, and it was like a happy dream. I was worried about making the right impression here in NC, and now it seems like the week has zoomed past and what I'd really like is to get the kids here to meet everyone. I know I still have critics about this weddding- I heard some last Sunday. I hope they will run out of steam soon. But I am leaving NC finally rested, with the sure knowledge that I was loved, I am now loved again, that Linda made the right choice and we were right to listen, as much as we both argued with her. So here's to Linda- Coacher, you got in a last "I told you so Jillie." And I am all the more blessed for it.